I’ve been traveling a lot lately. I’ve been to Washington, New York, New Jersey, Oregon, California, and Wisconsin in the short of about 3 months. And that’s not including moving into my first apartment.
Traveling a lot makes you realize where home is.
But traveling a lot also makes you feel like you’ve lost your sense of home.
I like to travel. I really do. But then at this trip, I’ve come to terms and realization that I don’t really know where home is.
I was born and raised for 18 years of my life in San Jose, CA. I know the place well. I have family and lots of great friends there. I have my secret spots I like to go to when I want to be alone. I have my favorite running trails. I know where my favorite food stores at. I thought that was what it meant to be “home”. But I realized I figured out what was always bothering me when I would try to call San Jose “home”. It just never felt like it. My heart just isn’t there. It is my hometown, but I don’t think it’s my home.
Eugene, Oregon. Is that my home? I’m not sure. Most of my belongings are there, and I’ve made a life for myself there. One that is probably 99% designed and created by myself. I have personal responsibilities in Eugene, and it’s been a place that, although sparse, has never the less kept my inspired every single day. But even though, I’m not sure if that’s home. It might be.
After pondering about it, I realized my home should be where my heart is. And that should be with me at all times. It’s the only way I’ll be able to feel grounded when times get rough. If home is where my heart is, I will be able to experience the world but still know where my values lie. Home should be internal. We all have physical homes, and people that makes us feel like we’re at home. But how can we appreciate those homes if we can’t even appreciate the homes with in us? The home within us is basically being able to understand ourselves. To be okay with our quirks and imperfectness. To know what you’re all about, and what you strive to be.
Being in so many different places helped me realize I am still struggling with finding my inner home.
1. Nanae Mimura basically, un-sugar coated told me all my problems as a musician. In less than 1 hour, I was able to fully understand phrasing and play 100000000x more confident than ever. She basically helped me find my own style of playing. ALL IN ONE HOUR. She’s also the sweetest person yet. Thanks Nanae!
2. Mike Truesdell ………… amazing. He has very similar views of musicianship, percussion, and teaching as I do. And gave the most inspiring speech of a life time. I almost want to continue my studies at Rutgers because of him. Yes it’s a big deal.
3. My first trip to Appleton, Wisconsin. Another state off my bucket list.